This is a book I started and then "just one more chapter"-ed until I finished it at 2 am. So clearly, I loved it as I read it, but the more I think about it the more I appreciate the nuance and detail in the story. It's atmospheric and creepy on the surface, but the allegory for depression was just chef’s kiss.

The story takes place in Savannah, Georgia, and made me mad at myself for never visiting when I lived closer. The setting is peak Southern Gothic, full of haunted elements and eerily beautiful architecture, art, and plants. The plants! I'm a sucker for flower language and symbolism and that and the historical plant lore used here were really cool additions. 

Holly, the main character, just lost her brother to a brutal su*cide, but the circumstances are suspicious, and she becomes fixated on uncovering the full story. Her brother's mysterious florist girlfriend, Maura, is at the top of her list. Problem is, Holly can't decide what kind of list that is. She's convinced Maura is hiding something about her brother's death, but she is also fascinated by her, and can't decide if she wants to be her or wants to be with her. 

Both girls' grief and guilt tangle with desires to create a messy, toxic feedback loop. The intensity and blurred lines of female friendships and romances are very well-done here. As is Holly's retrospective relationship with her brother, and the complications of how family dynamics shift with age and the forming of new relationships. Also, I won't spoil it, but there was a very well-done twist on a fanfiction trope that I love and was excited to see in a traditionally published book. 

Overall, the vibes of this book and Holly's situation are like when you know if you eat the decadent dessert it might make you sick later, but it's so indulgent that you can't resist doing it anyway. I mean that in the most complimentary way possible, and no, we don't need to examine what my lack of restraint when it comes to dessert means. Regardless, I will definitely be reading K.L. Cerra's future novels!